I can’t believe it’s been four months.

But it has.

Oh well.

I’m going to change things up a bit with this particular blog and go back to one of the main reasons (I thought) of why I started this - another boring blog about our journey to conceiving a baby.

At least I warned you and used the word ‘boring’.

So we officially started trying in Janauary and it’s nearly July.  And nothing.  No BFPs and only a handful of BFNs because I’ve been tracking things and know when the flood gates will open.

Except this past cycle.

No temping, no charting, but I did use OPK’s for the first time.  We’ll see what happens but I’m not holding my breath.  The fact of the fucking matter is that we just don’t have enough sex.

Yeah, I’m well aware of the alleged fact that it only takes one time to conceive… but I also know you need that one time to be around ovulation.  And according to past charting and the OPK’s this cycle, our one time (yeah, pretty fucking pathetic, I know) occurred at least 4 days prior to O.

So, like I said I’m not holding my breath.  And I’ve got *killer* cramps now so I’m sure that those flood gates will open any day now.

It is what it is though… and it’ll happen when it’s supposed to.

I guess.

It happened for a friend of mine.  She got a BFP just last Sunday. I was so excited for her.  She was on Cloud fucking 9 the whole week. 

And then yesterday I found out she had a miscarriage.  She’s devistated.  But she’s trying to stay positive and the positive of a miscarriage is that she did manage to get pg once so everything should be in working order.

I felt awful when I learned of the miscarriage.

I’ve been kind of down all last week because of her BFP news and a couple other girls’ BFP news.  By mid week, I did my best to turn things around, but there was still a part of me that was jealous.

And then I learned of her miscarriage.

And that I wouldn’t wish on *anyone*.